It finally happened!
It finally happened…
One of those things that you expect to happen one day and maybe anticipate happening one day but you aren’t ready for it and you hope you don’t screw it up when it happens.
I was on a flight home from a friends father’s funeral and a young man sat down next to me on the plane.
When you are a pastor you aren’t sure how flights are going to go. I actually hesitate with telling people I am a pastor on a plane nowadays….And I thought this day would be no different.
People are far too assumption and opinion driven nowadays, combative and even aggressive at times. So many times people bring their bad experiences with them on the plane. Extra “baggage” as it were that never gets checked at the gate.
On air planes as a pastor I have been accused of “stealing money from women and little children.”And many other strange and weird accusations throughout the years…
I have had people ask theological question after question, thinking I am sharing the gospel, only to find out that this person is looking for someone to affirm their incorrect theological beliefs or assuage their guilt for not living up to the standard God has made clear they need to be living by. How do I know? Because they confess it on the plane to me. But rarely do we ever get a chance to have actual repentance and prayer together on the plane. Then there are the ones who hear I am a pastor after asking what I do for a living and then shut down, shut up and become totally silent. Refusing to engage in any conversation. The indifference is tangible, and saddening.
I have been told I don’t, “look like…act like…or resemble” their view of what a pastor “should” be.
Have you ever been “shoulded on?” It happens to me a lot on planes….and then there’s nowhere to go to engage with other people or remove yourself from the situation. You’re in a metal tube flying through the sky with people’s opinions, emotions, and attitudes. It’s not always pretty for a pastor on a plane.
That’s a story for another blog…
But this young man had a different question. He never asked what I did. He never asked who I really was apart from my name. He asked about my family, my wife, my children, my name. He shook my hand when he introduced himself. A rare occurrence nowadays. He asked why I was traveling.
I informed him it was a for a family friends father’s funeral. This funeral was for a great man of faith and I was full of thoughts and emotions after an amazing celebration of life for this deceased man of God and his faith filled family. Even in death, this brother in Christ taught me how to be better husband and father as we heard his testimony at the funeral.
This young man on the plane was in the military, and he asked me the question I knew one day would come as I am in my 40’s now with a graying beard.
“I am 24 years old. If you were to go back and speak to your 24 year old self. What words of wisdom or advice would you give to yourself at 24 years old?”
I immediately felt like I was in a country music song…
Does this really happen outside of a music studio in Nashville?
I paused…Was he serious? Was this going to be another wasteful conversation where all he wanted was me to affirm what he was doing in life? Military guys are a different breed. So I paused, gathered my thoughts and began.
“I would tell my 24 year old self to love God, and go to church, even when, especially when you don’t want to. Listen to the older people in your life more than you do now. They have more wisdom than we give them credit for. Marry a woman who supports you after seeing you at your worst. Because if she sees you at your worst and still loves you, she will always support you at your best. Love your kids no matter what they say to you. They might mean the harsh or foolish things they say in the moment, but they will come back later and make it right. Make sure you have a trade or a skill working with your hands, producing, making, building, or developing …something…It is a skill that will come in handy in every stage of your life. If family or friends break off from you because you are living right, then let them go. Stay in contact but don’t let their lack of attention towards you discourage you from the path God has set before you. At the same time love people who are unloving and seem unlovable. They are not either. And you may be the only person who has shown them love in quite some time. Give them an ear to listen while keeping strong boundaries. Start saving for retirement NOW. Next paycheck. Start putting something away because one thing is guaranteed. A day will come where you will no longer be able to work like you can when you are young. Pray with your wife & kids and make sure the last thing you say before they physically leave your presence is something encouraging. If something happens, you don’t want the last thing you ever said to them to be negative or hurtful.”
He shook my hand a 2nd time and thanked me. He said he was trying to live his life right and never had a good role model. He told me he had a grandfather that wouldn’t tell him how to do well in life, wouldn’t engage with him in conversation. He asked how to talk to him. I told him, “ask him to tell you the story of….If you encourage him to share stories of his life there will be nuggets of wisdom in everything he shares. But don’t ask him directly for the steps to life. Older men hate that stuff. Just asking him to tell you how he got through parts of his life….Tell me the story of what it was like when you were….You will learn so much.”
He thanked me a 3rd time, shook my hand a 3rd time, and went to sleep for the rest of the flight.
I will probably never see him again.
Was that orchestrated by God? I do not know. But after the funeral I definitely had some things to say.
Moments in time are not just moments in time. They are often orchestrated by God if we will allow him to use us in his mission to bridge the gap in people’s lives from practical to spiritual. Will this young man’s life be better? I do not know. That’s is up to him. And I leave him to his choices…I can’t even remember his name now. But God knows. I hope he is able to take his next steps with God through anything I was able to share with him. There is always someone waiting on the other end of our obedience.